When kids are upset it's rarely about the topic at hand. These tips work in the classroom but also at home with homework struggles and the like.
Especially for boys when stress or conflict is high, cortisol coats the brain and shuts down the language processing center's ability to process all those words that typically a female is saying to them. Testosterone shoots up, cortisol kicks in, conversation over.
Water soothes and lowers cortisol levels.
Walking side by side discussing the conflict is better than sitting face to face.
Throwing an object to them after they de-escalate is an excellent strategy.
Less words, more time to "hold space" and de-escalate, and the ability to see, they're still learning how to self-regulate.
It would behoove us to do the same!