Healthy Communication

Posted by & filed under Keynote Topics.

“I’m gonna study Communications!!” That was what I told my parents at some point when I came home from college.  “What does that mean?” was probably their response, to which I said “Ummmmm….errrrrr…hmmmm”.  At the time I had no idea what the result would be from studying what was called Speech Communications.  I wish I would have known because I would have been much prouder of it at the time then I was.  I thought I had just gotten that degree because I didn’t do well at anything else or because business was too tough for me, but the reality was that I was born to study communications.


Every time a report card came out in the mail I would cringe growing up because I knew what that meant.  It meant either the teacher had grace or they were going to be brutal, the weird thing was that I was never worried about the grades part of it, it was always the comments.  I did great in school as far as grades went but pretty much every report card said the same things on it, “Adam can’t keep his hands to himself”, “Adam keeps distracting other students”, “Adam won’t stop talking to his neighbor.”  I know they said this because my mother has kept all of my report cards and every once in a while shows them to remind me that even back then I loved to talk, but now I get paid for it instead of getting yelled at for it! :)


I genuinely believe that the way we communicate with ourself can affect the way we communicate with each other.  If we are telling ourselves healthy things we then will have healthy relationships but if we are cruel and say mean or unhealthy things to ourselves then it’s no wonder why we have unhealthy relationships.  But this doesn’t have to be our destiny we can change it!  We just have to re-learn how we communicate to ourselves and in turn change the way we communicate to others.


There are a few communication theories that I learned in college that have stuck with me over the years and have made huge impacts in my life. These theories I really love sharing where ever I go because I passionately believe that if we can embrace them then we can embrace change and new beginnings.  The first one is the Self Fulfilling Prophecy and the other is the Looking Glass Self.  One has to do with how we think about ourselves and the other is in regards to letting others opinions affect the way we think and act.  It is astounding how much frustration happens because of simple miscommunication.  If we can replace our desperate need for perfectionism with kindness towards ourselves and realizing that we have come a long way already in life we can begin to be excited about what tomorrow might bring. There is so much about ourselves that we have to be proud of I just want people to learn how to communicate in such a way that they get to see it!

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